Tumor Hunting

Ok. The enema happened. Some of my cancer friends swear by them, others hate them, though most haven't tried one. That's the great thing about options, you can make your own decisions in life. For the record, for the first several hours I felt great, that is until I ate something. For about 24 hours after the enema, each time I ate something I could hear and feel my unhappy intestines and organs trying to digest. I just don't know if the coffee enema is for me. Healthy things shouldn't physically hurt you. It just doesn't make sense. Unless I did something incorrectly in the procedure, or maybe I ate the wrong foods afterward? I might try again in the future, but for now the coffee enema will not be a regular occurrence.

For the past several days I've been trying to track down my tumor, figure out what it's preserved in, the volume of the tissue, how to get it shipped to me, etc. I've been writing back and fourth with three different doctors - the whole thing is crazy. It's a lot of work being general manager of your health. I imagined, when I was first diagnosed, that one oncologist would help use his/her connections with treatments, clinical trials, recommendations with cutting edge information, in the case that he/she were limited with personal treatments. I had no real knowledge about hospitals, I had never even broken a bone. I now know that hospitals are just big businesses (where some amazing things happen). Also, there's really either not a great database within doctors for accessing treatments, clinical trials (there is one, but it's not great - not updated often enough), or adjunct therapies - or the doctors of my past (except UCLA) have just been too busy to help me out. Maybe it's a combo. What am I saying, of course it's a combo.Ok, I'm ranting. Sorry about that. I think I'm just cranky about having to research everything, contact everyone, and figure it all out. It's exhausting. It's impossible. I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I'm making the best decisions. It's enough to want to give up at times.

Here's a photo taken along HWY 99...it's a Christmas peace heart...I LOVE IT :) Maybe it's telling me I shouldn't be such a cranky buffalo face.