I'm back, and recharged. It's funny, or I guess not "ha ha" funny, but ironic, that I always considered myself to be thoroughly independent. Even when Danny and I did long distance for the first year and a half of our relationship, I cherished my alone time.
Things changed after the diagnosis, the surgeries, and all of the therapy though. Danny and I literally spent the past year together without much work. We took walks, went to the farmer's market, we cooked together, we read together, we worked out together, and laughed constantly. We still did various social things without each other, but we came together after a few hours or couple of days, refreshed, missing each other. We were spoiled. We were able to downsize, minimizing our financial obligations, just focusing on my medical bills and things like that. Anyway, I'm realizing that I've been incredibly spoiled to have Danny around all the time.
I'm strong when I need to be, and I know that this career change for Danny will be fantastic for our future. People do long distance every day, sometimes most of their lives. The problem is that I have a sense of urgency to enjoy each moment, and that makes me want to with him.
The only solution, in my opinion, is to distract myself. I've gotten back in touch with the brain tumor support group in Wenatchee, seeing what I can do to volunteer. I've become a volunteer with the National Brain Tumor Society. I'm distracting myself with other people's lives, trying to figure out how I can help. The best thing I can do is to get outside myself. I think it's finally time to focus on others. I won't forget the necessity to take care of myself and rest, but I can't just sit here on my bum.
