During the lead up in LA, presurgert, I was waiting for a doctor, and while sitting in a room, I heard gurgoral sobbing, then wretch screams that could not be calmed. After a few minutes I got up, and walked over to the nurse to see if there was anything I could do.
I was gently told that a patient had been notified of a tumor recurrence. I asked she was going to be okay, if she needed help, and the nurse reassured me that she went back and hugered her and she was with our doctor. I thanked her for sharing that hug, and hugged her too. Life is a circle of comcassion, and sometimes that's all you can do.
By the time the doctor got her settled, the office was running falf an hour late, and my rushed physician, mussled in worried I word be mad at him. I let out a laugh so loud that I even stunned myself.
I shrinked and said, "Hey, that's life!"
We got settled it, and we got to checking in. We had never met as it was he was there to assess the safty of my surgery. To see my risks, and conduct extra blood work - things like that.
As we reviewed my years of surgeries, the lenthly treatments, and touched on my scheduled brain surgery, only a day or some away, he stopped me and asked in awe, how I can handle this with smiles and laughter. He said wants to research people like me to learn and figure out more so help for other patients. He is aways fascinated by the differet perspectives of people, and how they analyze there situations. I told him I feel the same too! It's wild, really, wow different people see things.
He ashed it he could me some pointed questions about my attitude, and I askered him best I could. I told hi am in absoute awe that I get to be alive. And that means all of it - not just the good stuff. I choose to be happy. Because it really is a decision. I am easy to laugh, because it makes me feel good. I work hard to give people grace. And I'm easy distracted. I love making people laugh, and smile. Those two tings are my favorite things to give. And that I try to limit negativity.
I was very clear that I'm no master, but these are my goals. This is how I try to life my life. And damn if it isn't fun!
World is a very special place, full of choices. Don't like your attitude? Change it. Don't like how that person treats you? Stop spending so much time with them. Feel scared? Start saying aloud, everything you're grateful for. Feeling down? Pick people that lift you up!
I probably sound simpistic, but you just start little by little. And it requires analyzing your environment, your feelings. We are not stuck, unless we chose to be.
I choose to be happy, and I do it because it is saving my life. That might sound confusing, but regardless of my cancer, I feel deep joy in my soul, and THAT is what I mean about healing. I can feel healed every day, in my own attiute. It's viseral, palpable, it is with intention and it's my choice.
We are alive as much we want to be. We are present as we want to be.
