Just A Chapter

Two days ago I couldn't stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time. If you think about it, it's kind of hilarious. I'm like a child sometimes. Yesterday I did high doses of curcumin, piperine and then followed it up with a sulforaphane drink. There's a picture below of the concoction in process. I wasn't able to finish it all, but I didn't throw up so that's progress! I took a big gulp again this morning, and almost lost it. I've saved the final gulp to finish later today or tomorrow morning. My stomach is in complete knots. The only thing I can handle right now is hot tea. I'm okay with that though. The whole point is to keep the drink down, so who cares if it makes me sick, as long as I don't barf. 

A few minutes ago, through the pouring rain, I jogged the lake. I needed a challenge. I've been so damn tired, and for a second, I started to feel a little better. Seizing the moment, I tossed on some running shoes and a hat, snagged Emma's leash, and took off around Green Lake. Oddly, my stomach loosened up as I ran. The rain was refreshing, and reminded me of how fortunate I am to be able to run again. I thought about the long journey after the brain surgeries. This brain tumor is just going to be a chapter in my life, not the whole story. 

Bone Tired

I'm sorry that I'm not posting very often. I'm grumpy and....I.am.exhausted. I can't seem to read, or email. My mind is bone tired. My body is bone tired.

Not sure why I'm so tired, but I can't seem to function very well. I'm able to work on stuff for small periods of time, then my eyes get droopy and I can't continue.

I'm not thinking very clearly and it's hard to say what's causing it. Maybe I just need more sleep, who knows. Maybe it's the artemether & natural chemotherapy working their magic, burning the straw shacks in and around Hermie village. Won't know for sure until April 19th. It's hard when I'm so exhausted. The periods when I've been the most exhausted have historically correlated with fast tumor growth. Lets hope that this is the exception.

Walking to the retirement home yesterday,  through puddles.

Favorite new sandwich:
Tuna with Dijon mustard, fresh maitake mushroom & broccoli sprouts

Meal Planning

Success. There's a billion birds at my feeder!!! Whoo hoo!! They are so cute, and so little. It's fantastic! Bingie was drooling and talking up a storm, we were both very excited.

Thanks for the encouraging words on the last post. I appreciate the support. Dan and I realize that this is very difficult. We're trying to navigate this journey with tenacity, but sometimes it's important to allow mistakes. The whole thing is tough though. I'm not really in a position to eat a normal diet. If I want to live, I need to eat better than anyone else. I need to fuel my body with cancer fighting foods and supplements, along with avoiding cancer feeding foods. It's impossible to be good all of the time, and it's hard not to hate yourself for your mistakes. The mistakes taste so good, too. That makes it even harder.

Dan and I are trying a new technique this week. We'll see how it goes. It's a combination of suggestions from friends. We're doing meal plans Monday-Wednesday. Thursday will be a bit more difficult because of the sulforaphane drink (which I'm thinking about doing on Fridays as well). On sulforaphane days I tend to not be that hungry. Saturdays are normal days when we can eat a more relaxed diet. Sundays are back to high antioxidant foods. So, it will look something like this:

Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday (limited antioxidants): 

Breakfast
Oatmeal or toast with almond butter

Lunch
Tuna (with or without bread) or almond butter sandwich

Dinner
Salmon or other fish or shellfish
broccoli or asparagus or brussels sprouts
quinoa or brown rice

Thursday/Friday: Whatever fruits or vegetables I want....YUM!!! Salads, slaws, whole grains, nuts, seeds, seafood...curcumin, raw garlic, onions, cayanne pepper, broccoli tea, green tea, oh the pleasures of the simple things. On Monday-Wednesday I find myself craving tea and blueberries. It's so funny that blueberries, apples and green tea fill my thoughts constantly when I can't have them.

Saturday: Same as Thursday/Friday but I can add diary, or wine, or whatever else to my meals

Saturday: Same as Thursday/Friday

I'm going to try this schedule out and see if it helps me mentally prepare for each phase. I might get more in depth with my planning, we'll see. I've never been that good with meal planning.